by Heather Avalon

As a writer writing fiction, one of my primary tasks is to stay solidly in the point of view of a specific character.  As a writer writing about a polyamorous relationship between four people, I have the daunting task of writing from each person’s point of view.

As I work on the sequel to “Her Secret Incantations,” I find it is easiest to stay in one character’s head for a chapter, or at least a long section, before switching to the next character.

This can be a lot of fun, because it allows each character to have a voice, and is helpful in exploring the complex relationship between the four.

The difficult part is writing about the actual ménage experience.  When all four people are experiencing the same thing at the same time, it is hard to know whose voice to use.

I’m thinking that the thing that makes writing about a ménage difficult is the very thing that can make an actual ménage difficult.

A relationship between two people is hard enough.  Each has his or her own perspective, his or her own needs and their own fears.  Bring more people into the relationship and you add to the confusion.  How can you may sure everyone’s voice is heard?

Some polyamorous people seem to stay in pairings – they openly date more than one person, but generally spend time with each person in turn.  Some prefer the group experience, and want to enjoy more than one person at the same time.

It’s hard to say what defines polyamory, or what the typical polyamorous relationship might look like.  I know triples and quads that live together, but I have no idea what the inner workings of their households really are.

I have friends who live as a triple – one female, two males.  When meeting other people who identify as poly, the female will ask them this; “Do you all sleep in the same bed?”  If the answer is no, she will say, “Then you are swingers, not polyamorous.”  For her, being poly means that each person has equal standing with each other person in the relationship.

I have to say I don’t agree with that.  In the book I am now working on, the characters, who became involved with each other at a Pagan festival in the first book, are now living together.  There are two distinct couples, and each couple has their own bedroom.  From time to time, they also enjoy being together as a group, or as different couple match-ups.  Because they live together and love each other, I define them as polyamorous, rather than swingers.

My favorite part of writing this sequel so far is seeing how they handle the intricate workings of their relationship together.

I’ll be the first to say that my four characters are an ideal.  I’m writing fiction, not reality.  But from what I’ve seen and experienced in my life, I know that for some people, polyamory isn’t ever too much of a good thing – in fact, it’s just enough.

What is true in writing the fiction is also true in real life.  It’s difficult, but it’s doable.  The trick is in giving each person a voice in the relationship.

Personally, I find first person stories a hard sell with me, and that’s because like the nursery rhyme said about the little girl with a curl, “when she is bad, she’s really really horrid.” So, too, with the first person point of view.

I find the best first person stories (see Cheryl Dragon’s, Best in Bed) have a first person point of view that is a character’s unique voice. Whether it’s Harry Dresden or Carrie Bradshaw, I feel an instant connection with the character. With Cheryl’s book, it was a triple home run, because each of the female leads has her own voice and they’re all unique. The voice makes the book more intimate, makes the setting all the more familiar. We walk the streets of New York City with Carrie Bradshaw, meeting Mr. Big at all the best clubs. Cheryl takes us into Chicago and makes the city a character with her use of the first person voice.

First person lends an immediacy to the story. In a historical tale, the first person narrator can bring us closer to the action and make us think that we are in Regency England or the American Frontier.

So what do you need to watch out for in first person?

It is easy for an author who hasn’t honed her craft to falter with first person. It lends itself to lazy writing, telling rather than showing. Watch out for lots of I did this and I did that paragraphs. The emotion fades away, which is a hallmark of a first person narrator telling the story, rather than showing it through their eyes.

It also can create infodumps. The narrator stops the action to relate a long string of events, some of which may not even be germane to the story. A lot of times these are side, or parenthetical remarks, that are supposed to add character, but really add boredom.
First person tales can also be skimmable tales. You know the ones where you scroll the mouse or the page (or turn them rather quickly), hitting the high points of the story because you don’t get any meat to the tale. If the reader finds herself going “yeah, yeah yeah” when reading the story, then it’s skimmable, and not at all engaging.

The truth is, the pitfalls with first person also occur in third; they just stand out more in first person. It can, however, create quite the engaging story, and when used effectively, can be a point of view that offers the reader the best view into the action. I encourage authors who wish to use first person to do so sparingly, and make sure they have plenty of beta readers familiar enough with first person pitfalls to really mark up the manuscript. That way, when it’s finished, it will shine.